I remember a high point in my life.\u00a0 I got a warning for speeding.\u00a0 It was the one and only time it happened.<\/p>\n

Now my wife NEVER got a speeding ticket.\u00a0 She would turn on the tears and it always worked.\u00a0 She would then snoot about it to me.\u00a0 I was even with her one time when she used chemo to get out of a ticket for running a stop sign.\u00a0 I felt like shaming the cop: “Don’t fall for it.”, but I was a loyal husband.<\/p>\n

So one time driving through Texas late at night I get pulled over for 5 over.\u00a0 The cop looks in the mini-van packed with sleeping kids and took pity on me.\u00a0 He gave me a warning.\u00a0 It was an incredible moment for me.<\/p>\n

Something like this just happened.\u00a0 I’m in Walmart the night before Thanksgiving.\u00a0 For a man, it is sheer terror.\u00a0 Large fat women rolling down the center of the isle, tussling to get at the bag of marshmallows.\u00a0 Most men would prefer the root canal.\u00a0 And the dread at the end of the ordeal, checking out.<\/p>\n

So I get strategic and realize that the obese would not have the strength to wallow over to the far side cash registers, and that is where I head.\u00a0 I run through my check list.\u00a0 Check out girl is young, which is a 50\/50.\u00a0 Sometimes they are chatty.\u00a0 No old ladies in line.\u00a0 No welfare queens.\u00a0 Just two old guys, the one up front is already paying.\u00a0 He is chatting with the girl, so not perfect, but pretty darn good.<\/p>\n

As I roll up, the middle old dude is putting his last groceries back in his cart and heading back to the store.\u00a0 He forgot something.<\/p>\n

I roll up, and start unloading.\u00a0 The girl doesn’t chat with me and is actually quite good.\u00a0 Very fast.\u00a0 In fact, she is done before I can enter my PIN.<\/p>\n

So there you have it.\u00a0 The fastest check out I’ve ever had happened on the night before Thanksgiving in Walmart.\u00a0 I will remember this night for the rest of my days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I remember a high point in my life.\u00a0 I got a warning for speeding.\u00a0 It was the one and only time it happened. Now my wife NEVER got a speeding ticket.\u00a0 She would turn on the tears and it always worked.\u00a0 She would then snoot about it to me.\u00a0 I was even with her one…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"libsyn-item-id":0,"libsyn-show-id":0,"libsyn-post-error":"","libsyn-post-error_post-type":"","libsyn-post-error_post-permissions":"","libsyn-post-error_api":"","playlist-podcast-url":"","libsyn-episode-thumbnail":"","libsyn-episode-widescreen_image":"","libsyn-episode-blog_image":"","libsyn-episode-background_image":"","libsyn-post-episode-category-selection":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_thumbnail":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_theme":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_height":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_width":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_placement":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link_text":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_custom_color":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-explicit":"","libsyn-post-episode":"","libsyn-post-episode-update-id3":"","libsyn-post-episode-release-date":"","libsyn-post-episode-simple-download":"","libsyn-release-date":"","libsyn-post-update-release-date":"","libsyn-is_draft":"","libsyn-new-media-media":"","libsyn-post-episode-subtitle":"","libsyn-new-media-image":"","libsyn-post-episode-keywords":"","libsyn-post-itunes":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-season-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-type":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-title":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-author":"","libsyn-destination-releases":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-enabled":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-input-enabled":false,"libsyn-post-episode-premium_state":"","libsyn-episode-shortcode":"","libsyn-episode-embedurl":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=463"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":464,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/463\/revisions\/464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesdeprisco.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}